You have 17 possible ways to improve your website, and very little time, only three employees to devote to the project, and limited funds. Which areas of improvement will bring the best ROI?
Step into my office...
John Doe says: “In front of 30 of your clients, you asked one of them to order you panties? Seriously? What kind of *&^%$#@ lunatic are you?” Dear John. Your wife left you for her personal trainer. How could she? With a fake name like John Doe, you must be terribly creative. (And seriously “John,” if you are going to [...]
“Poor Mack Collier. That Amy Africa person has him cornered in that mini-room. I’m sure he wants to get away from her but how can he? He’s so polite and well-mannered –” I tried to stop listening and focus on something — anything else — while words like “aggressive”, “bully”, “witch with a b-” and so on constantly interrupted my [...]
The bloodcurdling screams woke Cristina (name changed to protect the sort-of-innocent) up from her deep slumber. In a recanting of the tale, she says “These weren’t screams of joy (read: ecstasy) or even the ones you’d get when you fall, but REAL screams – the kind from horror movies except only real.” (Hey, English is her second language. Work with [...]
Somewhere near DCA (aka Washington Reagan Airport) a round room is missing its patient… I am not sure which psychiatric facility it is but I can tell you, with 100% certainty, the patient is working in the US Airways terminal for TSA. I hate all the DC airports but I dislike DCA with a passion. For me, everything goes wrong [...]
My nephew turns three today. (Happy birthday child-who-cannot-be-named-because-my-brother-is-a-conspiracy-theorist.) Yesterday was his birthday party. I took Anonymous and his younger brother (also nameless) out for lunch so that his parents could get ready for the party. (These days, birthday parties require event planners, the purchase of small countries, private planes to jet everyone there and back and so on…) The littlest [...]
“HE HATES YOU!” “Good morning to you.” I replied. It was 4:08 am PST and I was about as interested in hearing about yet another person who despises me as I was in doing fireball crunches on the Bosu Trainer. (Read: I would rather have had root canal without anesthesia through my belly button.) “How could you recommend him? This [...]
“That’s a Birkin Bag! Ohmigod, you have a Birkin bag!” She shrieked…Her nails-on-a-chalkboard voice interrupting my ever-so-peaceful slumber. “An Hermes Birkin Bag. You have an Hermes Birkin Bag… at the beach no less! How on earth did you get it?” I pretended to be dead. In a high-pitched shrill that only a dolphin could understand, she droned on and on [...]
